John W writes “I got back last night to find the drive of our house at university decidedly more occupied than usual… My utter fuckwit of a neighbour had, for some reason, decided that the street was too good for his Italian shitheap and that private parking was the only solution, even if it was on someone elses’ property. Having tried the reasonable response of knocking on the offender’s door (to no avail), I narrowed my options down to a) jumping on his bonnet whilst half naked and throwing fecal matter at his house or b) writing him a polite letter and waiting for him to move it. Then I thought “those options are boring” and called him a cunt. Merry Christmas, or something!” Beautiful, and excellent work with the notification.

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