This has happened all too often to us. Usually on a Saturday afternoon when we’re forced against our will to go shopping on some thankless and fruitless errand. When it does happen we feel obliged to rearrange our top-5 list of people we’d like to have flogged to death in public (Simon Cowell, Max Clifford, Robert Mugabe, Justin Bieber etc). Mr Vulva driver, you are a cunt of such huge proportions that it’s beyond our immediate capability to put that into words right now.

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