Warren Wilding from the Emerald Isle sends us this absolute belter of a story from his local paper. If we edited this bumhole of a local rag, the title of the piece would read “Crybaby 4×4 Parking Cunt Gets What She Deserves”. Even the story doesn’t help her cause – ‘woman booked for parking six inches over line in almost empty car park…[sic]’ (not sure why they put an ellipsis at the end of that sentence). So she misses an unimpeded space in an empty car park, rightly gets fined for taking up two spaces and then bleats about it to a local newspaper who crown her glory by publishing photos of her fucking shit efforts. We would prefer to crawl away quietly and die alone than to allow this sort of thing to go public. We like to say to her “look here, Atomic Mutton, take your shitty car back to this empty car park and practice getting it inbetween the spaces. Then perhaps the Portadown Times can use the space taken up by your santimonious shithead stories to advertise cheap memoryfoam matresses instead”. FUCK. YOU.

And yes, Warren, we would love to see a copy of the letter that you sent to the editor. Well done, sir. You and this story are well worthy of a Monday morning queue jump!

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