It’s 6:30am at Asda. This driver holds the firm belief that it’s never too early to be a cunt!

“New Milton farm shop, female driver needing both spaces. nice.”

On this site, we don’t care about a cunt’s sex, race, sexual orientation or any of that nonsense, it’s purely down to that person’s cuntish attitude to parking. Frankly this person gets Double Cunt Points. One for the parking and two for shopping in a fucking farm shop. We’re all for turning up at a farm to buy bacon and eggs etc, but how many farms have tarmacked car-parks like this? They try to kid themselves that they’re shopping at a farm shop, but really it’s just a pseud’s supermarket. There, glad we got that out of our system.

Our mate Paul sent us this one a minute ago. Admittedly, he took it a couple of years ago in a bus-stop in Ealing but it had queue-jumper written all over it so here it is. To start with it’s a Ferrari 360 (ok, so we’re not that bothered about rich people’s cars but it adds a certain degree of satisfaction, for sure), secondly and thirdly it’s parked in a fucking bus-stop a mile away from the kerb, and fourthly they’ve got the wankerish personalised plate “S70LEN”. Luckily, a policeman brings up mojo element number 5 as he’s given the epic cunt a ticket, and we’re hoping a hefty kick to the knackers as well. What a fucking shithead.

“A cunt or just a stupid twat?!” our submitter asks.

Must we choose? After all, the two titles aren’t exclusive. One can be both a twat and a cunt at the same time. And I think this person displays those credentials admirably.

This is a special mention from that street in Cuntforshire. In fairness, this cunt is probably used to parking across two spaces in busy supermarket car parks and was probably lured into this white line subconciously. But seriously, how the fuck someone can do this and not have the DVLA cut their licence up and kick them up the arse is beyond us.

Here’s a Google streetview picture of Cunt Street in the c(o)unty of Cuntfordshire. This picture is a record for the largest constipation of parallel parking cunts. We’re going to write to Guinness about this.

“This dude obviously wanted a footlong and 2 parking spots. That’s just pure GREED!”

Quite right. Another dickwad probably eating at Subway and convincing himself that it’s way healthier than other fast food. You’re a cunt for that as well.

Jane sent us this one with the simplest of 3-word phrases “Yes, that’s parked”.

Slam the owners head in their own car door whilst shouting (with each slam). “THIS. IS. NOT. A. PARKING. SPACE. IT’S. THE. FUCKING. EXIT. YOU. CUNT.

I still think that we wouldn’t feel 100% better after doing that.

We struggled to work out what happened here, but then reckoned that it’s case of a failed handbrake. Still any cunt who leaves his car parked on a hill without leaving it in gear is a prick and deserves to be humiliated like this. Harsh, but fair.

We’ll try not to change @Leejp77’s write up here to much. Needless to say, he’s a little peeved about his neighbout.

“Some heinous cretin who lives in the block of flats I live in … ignores the multitude of car park parking spaces within a 10 second walk from the door and parks right in front of it … where you’re not ALLOWED to park … blocking off emergency access because fire engines would struggle to pass if you PARKED there, and she doesn’t even park, she just abandons her car. Fire engine turned up once, couldn’t get past her so had to take ages reversing out. They put a leaflet on her car SAYING “you can’t park there, you’re blocking emergency access” and she ran up the road to scream obscenities at them for defacing her car in such a vile manner as putting a leaflet under her wiper. I wonder if she’d be so arsed if she caused her own death…she couldn’t be rescued cos she’d blocked emergency access! She does it all the time still, even after the warning, here’s just 2 examples.”

Epic cunt.