Paul Harvey sends us this one from the States (One Kendall Square, near the cinema, if that means anything?) and it’s a classic. Mercedes –

Exciting News For YPLAC

Right, this is getting really fucking annoying. We’ve tried posting this three cunting times now and Tumblr just keeps getting its belm on and deleting the fucker!

So, (anger subsiding!) basically, go out and get next week’s edition of Zoo magazine (Tuesday) because they’ve done a double page feature on YPLAC including 7 of our pics and write-ups, AND Ben Collins aka The Stig will be giving his own thoughts on those pics. It’s all very surreal for a blog which was just intended to rant about the cunts in our office’s underground car park.

All pictures should be correctly creditted to the people who submitted them. Sorry if we got them wrong though. Hope you enjoy it! We can’t wait to see it!

Oh wow, we’ve never had one of these before. “Parked in a box junction in front of an Emergency ambulance bay, cracking.”

What an absolute cunting shithead of mindbogglingly stupifying proportions. I think we have a new champ for King (or Queen) of Cunts.

Stubbsy sends us this picture of epic cuntishness. If the picture alone didn’t speak for itself, he writes “this cunt misses the whole cunting point of these trundling eco-friendly cunt-karts.  Jesus, get a fucking bicycle instead.  Admittedly, its within the bay lines, but one must assume that this cunt was so desperate to put an end to his misery and embarrassment of actually existing inside this Tupperware-on-wheels, that they simply couldn’t be fucked to drive it a bit further fucking forward.”

We’re almost impressed that they managed to take up two spaces with this childs play car. Cunt.

A worthy queue jumper, this.

“You ALL Park like cunts. The picture shows the two way road to the local primary school. Both sides are single yellow lined = no parking between 8am and 6pm. This is at 3pm.

Starting with the Blue BMW carefully parked across the pedestrian crossing drop kerb point and only 3 meters from the main road – prohibiting anyone from turning into the road safely – this is the cunt starter.

After this we have various levels of cunt parking – notably all in silver coloured cuntmobiles, blocking the entire side of the road. Meaning if anyone did want to drive down the road to a legitimate parking space, say 30m past the primary school (behind the camera in the top picture) they can’t actually get there because all the cuntily parked cars, and the oncoming traffic trying to get away from the school (as seen).

Note how the jauntily parked middle silver cuntparker, leaving his offside rear corner languishing in the middle of the road, has also jauntilly blocked in two legitimately parked cars (i.e. not on a yellow line) at the local shops (awkwardly also silver). Well they would be legitimate if they were shopping, but no, they were picking up their kids from the school too. Cunts. A collection of retarded lazy fucking children collectors who could have just walked half a mile to get their kids, or driven 50m more and parked legally and safely.”

We’ll be getting some stickers/tickets produced soon enough so you can start posting them willy-nilly.

Shitty cunt parking at B&Q, apparently by an employee if we understood our submitter correctly. In these cases, we find it most efficacious to go into the shop, purchase yourself a cheap screwdriver, stanley knife and pot of brown paint (needs to be brown in order to look like diarrhoea), return to the offending car and ‘accidentally’ go to town with your new items. Or you could just leave a note under the windscreen saying “you park like a cunt”. That might get you in less trouble…

This thoughtless cunt was seen parked outside a doctor’s surgery. We wondered what sort of ailment or surgery he would be going in for. We hope that in the meantime, a tow-truck rocked up to perform an emergency cunt extraction as it was sorely in need.

“This cunt was just asking for a few people to do some car tipping” our submitter says.

Too fucking right. We fucking hate People Carriers here. This one’s just lucky it’s not a fucking Vauxhall Zafira or we would have really gone to town. Look, dickcheese, the space is clearly not big enough and riding up on the kerb like that has clearly not done you any favours, you’re still forcing other cars into the middle of the fucking road. We’d tell you to fuck off to a proper car park but you’d probably wreak even more havoc there.  

David found these shitheads in the Lisburn branch of Tesco and tells us “PSNI twats blocked me in for 20 mins (I was parked to the left of the picture) and unable to reverse out as these c*nts had decided to go in for sandwiches and a dander while parked on double yellows. Please cover the numberplate incase I get done!”

Fair enough. We can imagine police officers getting a bit sanctimonious if members of the public start pointing out their crimes. That’s their job after all.

Cyn from the other side of the pond says “greetings from Detroit. Every single day, the parking structure fills up beyond capacity. Gee, I wonder why? All three of these assholes are repeat offenders.”

there are plenty more, but it’s cold and i was losing feeling in my fingers.